Field Study Journal #13 (plus attempted coding symbols)

Coding Key:
! 1. Gender
(1.1 Norms, 1.2 Roles, 1.3 Expectation, 1.4 Interaction)
@ 2. Religion
(2.1 Islam, 2.2 Ramadhan, 2.3 Eid, 2.4 Mosque, 2.5 Social Gathering/Ceremony,
2.6 Christianity, 2.7 Judaism)
# 3. International Politics
(3.1 American/Arab Relations, 3.2 Israel, 3.3 Iraq, 3.4 American Hegemony)
$ 4. Domestic Politics
(4.1 Government Policies, 4.2 Ministries)
% 5. Citizenship
(5.1 National Identity, 5.2 Expatriate Differentiation, 5.3 Sultan Qaboos)
^ 6. Foreigner in Oman
(6.1 Outsider/Insider, 6.2 Being American, 6.3 Culture Shock, 6.4 “Social Scientist”)
& 7. Family
(7.1 Sibling Interaction, 7.2 Parent/Child Interaction, 7.3 Husband/Wife Interaction)
* 8. Childhood
(8.1 Discipline, 8.2 Duties, 8.3 Socialization)

Field Study Journal #13: Conversion
Recorded 01.10.07
Context, Location: In Naila’s van, outside the home of a Sheikh relative of Naila’s, where we stopped to buy laban from his catering business
Time: Around 13:30, Monday, October 1
Individuals Involved: Annelle, Sheikh, Mama Naila
Coding:
! Gender (1.1 Norms)
@Religion (2.1 Islam, 2.7 Christianity)
^Foreigner in Oman (6.1 Outsider/Insider)
&Family (7.3 Husband/Wife Interaction)

Description:
Naila and I had stopped on the way home from class, (after dropping off a giggling group of school girls), at the home of a friend who apparently sells laban. Upon going up to the door Mama Naila warned me to cover my hair “nicely” because a sheikh lived in the house. She commented on the trees and bushes in the garden around the front door as “Nice; like the village.” We met only his children at the door, but upon re-entering the car the sheikh returned home. Mama Naila opened my window, but he came around the car to talk through hers. Initially they spoke in Swahili; I watched and smiled. Then Mama Naila apologized and explained that they were discussing the fact that I was fasting for Ramadhan. The sheikh asked how it was going, I replied in Arabic that it was fine though tiring at times. He and Naila continued to speak, sometimes stopping to ask me a question. The sheikh wanted to know if I would become Muslim. He went on to explain that Islam is peaceful and that it never requires violence or force to be spread, only “the mouth and the heart”. He emphasized that Christianity and Islam share one God, and told me that I should not worry about returning to the United States as a Muslim because there were many Muslims there, then suggested that I marry an Omani and stay in Oman. He described other Europeans or Americans that had converted to Islam; Mama Naila murmured “Alhamdu-lillah” occasionally. I smiled throughout and laughed when he laughed.
The religious discussion evolved into a talk about the impossibility of fairly having more than one wife. He said that “My wife is eighteen. When she turns twenty, I will get another wife.” And laughed. He explained that having more than one wife and not treating them equally brings thim from Allah that could prevent one from entering jinna, although this could be forgiven through nia. He referenced Naila’s status as one wife of three; Naila laughed and then grew quiet and wiped her eyes as he continued. We drove home soon after.

Interpretation: I have heard the request to “cover nicely” before, and usually interpret it as corresponding to situations where my appearance will reflect upon Naila.
I interpreted the sheikh’s efforts to coax me towards Islam as good-natured but not overly loaded with the expectation that I would become Muslim. I did not know the term nia, but I had heard of thim and jinna, and understood them to be part of the “point system” of Islam, which I characterize as similar to Catholic sins and penance. Naila has made what I have understood to be subtle references to my becoming Muslim in the past, and I think that she saw this as a possible opportunity to pursue the subject further. I do not think that the sheikh generally bloviates on the subject of polygamy, but I interpreted his harping on the subject and his own monogamous status as an indication of the importance he gives to the issue. I interpreted Naila’s response as one that she gives routinely when friends or relatives talk about Khaled’s decision to take three wives; despite explicit criticism, she laughs and shakes her head. I was unsure whether the sheikh had made her feel badly, or if her behavior, (wiping her eyes, leaving almost “abruptly” by Omani standards), did not reflect emotional distress.

Evaluation: I almost laughed when Naila described the garden as nice; it appeared to me as fairly overgrown and seemed to hold a number of items no longer useful inside: an old rug, a few rusty and dusty toys. Of the gardens I have seen in Oman, this won no aesthetic prizes. Returning to the car I felt slightly disappointed that we had not met the sheikh, and pleased when he appeared. I felt comfortable talking with the jolly sheikh, particularly because of Naila’s presence, although at times I was unsure of the actual dynamics of the situation. When he asked why I had not yet become Muslim I considered saying that my parents would not be pleased if I became Muslim, although this is untrue. I decided that lying would only coplicate the situation, and that the argument was flawed, as most likely many Western converts come from less-than-supportive families. I hoped that by remaining friendly and open I could maintain a balance wherein he would continue to discuss Islam and gently try to convert me, (which I found fascinating), without increasing his, or my mother’s expectation that actually I would. I wondered about the ethics of “leading them on” in this way, i.e. not making clear that I have no intention of becoming Muslim, nor am sure of my belief in God, and so felt relieved when the conversation shifted away from Evangelism. However, I felt uncomfortable at the shiekh’s apparent tactlessness regarding the sin of multiple marriages; although I could not ascertain whether Naila’s eye-wiping was a result of dust or emotion, she did seem less comfortable with this discussion. I have not yet felt that it would be appropriate to ask her how she feels as the first of three wives. I have also felt conflicted about this myself, because I genuinely like Khaled and consider him a caring husband and father, and so feel strange when I have heard him criticized. I wonder the extent to which his children are exposed to similar conversations and how they feel.